If there are just two words embedded in the DNA of brand Aardvark Media, they would have to be customer service. Everything we do online, however technical, has to first tick the box saying that it makes life easier for the customer.

Being focussed on this in my work life, I’m probably quicker than most to voice dissatisfaction as a consumer but recently I’ve had such a jaw droppingly bad experience at the hands of Virgin Airlines that it demands a public airing.

 I’m flying with the family to the US soon and as I have a couple of young kids, I decided to take advantage of an offer to upgrade to premium economy so you get a bit more room on the long haul flight. To do that you have to ring the Virgin customer services line which starts with an automated menu (which disqualifies it from being a customer service line in my book) and ends, eventually, with a call centre overseas.

My first call was fairly straight forward, I made the booking and was informed that an e-ticket confirming the upgrade would be emailed to me within 48 hours. It wasn’t, so I made a second call. I was on hold for 10 minutes while they checked the booking – “no problem, the e-ticket will be with you tomorrow sir.” Tomorrow passed and still no e-ticket so I made a third call and spent 40 minutes on hold this time. As I hold longer than this for no man I hung up and called back when my patience had returned.  Twenty minutes on hold again and when I got through I was informed I had to pay an extra fuel surcharge for my booking but that the e-ticket would definitely be with me in 48 hours. It wasn’t. I called back again and held for 15 minutes.

When I got through this time – my fifth call, they asked me if I knew who I had spoken to last time – as if it were my responsibility to record this rather than there’s to keep notes on the system. I had the name but this meant they tried to put me through to that person who was, of course, engaged. When I got through I was rewarded with notice of a further fuel charge but by now desperate to conclude matters, I paid up and pleaded that they just get me the ticket. “Certainly sir, it will be with you in 48 hours”.

And of course it wasn’t. I did eventually get the ticket but all told, I reckon it took about five hours to upgrade me  – that’s upgrade, i.e., pay them more money.

What’s astonishing about this experience in 2008 is that it still exists. We have the technology and we have the skills to create happy customers who keep coming back and yet this automated, chaotic nonsense remains. And from Virgin, formerly the consumers’ champion.

By the way, if, by any chance Virgin pick this up on their blog monitor and want to call me to apologise, they’d better be prepared to hold.